Tinder Teckers

People have two versions of themselves. It could be said that every one of us have a second self. An identical twin if you wish. But a better twin, a better version of ourselves. We have our physical self and our cyber self, whether that be on Facebook, MySpace (depending on how retro you are), Match.com or the newest of the fads, Tinder, our online persona is always; taller, thinner, smarter, funnier, sexier and the list goes on. To cut a long story short, our online self is all over more desirable, and after my ponderings over the Tinder game yesterday, it got me thinking... How we choose to package our selves up to sell to our potential mates.

What is the criteria we want to meet and want others, be that aquaentences or complete strangers, to see us, and judge us as? We all know a picture is worth a thousand words and in today's society we should also know that a picture often tells a thousand lies. So how do we strike a balance? How do we look fit, cute, intelligent, approachable and exciting all at the same time? 

I have absolutely no idea how to achieve this in one smart snap, which is perhaps being the reason Tinder offers you space for five photos; that's tactical tinder'in beb. Obviously, the next logical thing for my confused little brain to do is give you a mish-mash of imagery (definitely not chosen for Tinder) that my loving pals have papped over the years that would quite literally make me look like some craazy fool who grins alot. Guilty as charged. If anyone likes what they see, do not hesitate to contact me. However, please message me with opening lines more original than, "Hey babe". First impressions count (HA!), you have been warned.

A fashionista (obvs)...

An adventure junkie...

A wild animal...

A fatty...

A geek...

A dancing diva...

A bling whore...

Apparently less really is more, and maybe for the sake of my love life I should have kept some of those corkers tightly locked away from the internet, and the rest of the world, but heyhoe! What's your Tinder Tactics?

All the above photos are my own and should not be re-used, unless requested.

Techno Doggin' 2K13's answer to Tru Luv?

"Hey bbz, hows u?" The start of a budding romance, or a polite code for "fancy a fuck"? Is the latest fad for cyber dating a 21st Century solution to love, or a damn right lazy alternative to getting up, showered, dolled up and out on the town?

The controversial trend has caused debates between men and women across varying social statuses, and become a hot topic of discussion between my pals and I. I wonder, is it that people really disapprove of the concept and believe in old school traditions, or are they in fact just afraid of the unknown, and jealous of those ballsy enough to play a game of shallow snap?

How do we meet men? More importantly, how do we meet fit men? While I'm at it, where the hell do you find a fit man, with an IQ over 100 and some gently charm? Is it really too much to ask that you don't drop the door in my face and if by mistake you do, you apologise for doing so? To add to this, if, like the majority of the female population, you desire this perfect chappy but have a few lumps and bumps of your own, and i'm sure several other unnecessary bodily hang-ups, if you met this such dreamy date, would you have the confidence to strike up a conversation? Many women wouldn't dream of asking a man out. It is far more likely that the ending to that little scenario would be along the lines of an awkward giggle and a dash to the ladies, where a gaggle of girls will comfort you for you failed efforts.

WHY!? Why, when presented with a hunk of a man, do we retreat and remain in our comfort zone of 'if only'? Instead of creating a solution to this problem, Tinder has gone one better and created a new one. A new comfort zone where we can hide behind a few carefully chosen pictures of ourselves (even photoshopped snaps, if you have the time, skills and desperation). You simply slide your thumbs to the left if you don't find John, Dick or Harry attractive and to the right if you like a little somethin' somethin' the next guy has. Lazy, maybe. But, the thrill when those three little words whizz onto the screen; "It's a MATCH!", a new found adrenaline, perhaps like jumping out of a plane, but all in the comfort of your own living room.

Now I realise how ridiculous this sounds, and I do hope you can hear my slight mocking tone, but really, who is this hurting? No-one. It really is a bit of harmless fun. My mum once told me that you should spend your youth kissing frogs, and enjoying it. Tinder has simply evolved the game for our lazy modern selves, and personally, I'm all for any idea that boosts your confidence. Each to their own I say! So, rather than smuggly casting the idea aside, snorting at the idea that us poor singletons have to revert to such low means of getting a date, why don't you sign up and give it a whirl, you never know, you might quite enjoy it.

Over and out.

"Alls I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..."

Today I have spent hours clicking my way through the world, compiling my "If Only" Christmas list. Now since I don't have the funds to own any of them or God's power to turn Chiltern Railways into Hogwarts Express to take me away to a land of poly juice positions and magical mischief, I am instead giving you a post consisting of all things Christma-SASSY.

When a little'un I sang as loud as I could, along with the tape player, to "Alls I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" for two years running, ironically enough, one year meaning every word from the bottom of my heart due to actually having no front teeth. However, now I'm a little older, hopefully a little wiser, and have my two front teeth firmly intact, here's a few things that make my Christmas Wish List. If one of my active readers (hey Mum!) decides to take pity on me and make my dreams come true please contact me and I will happily send you my address and stamps. 

AQ/AQ Jane Red Bodycon- the Christmas- Midi Dress.

AQ/AQ's Phoebe (soon to be Amy Duffin's) Black Deep V Jumpsuit.

ASOS Black Embellished Tabbard Dress for some flapper fun.

Just Female Angel Dress to play saints and sinners in.

 

So much leather love for this ASOS White Leather Cami Dress.

Meadham Kirchoff's Fur Heart coat for Topshop, because I need something 'practical'/warm for winter.

Drawn to these Nike Air Max 1SP Liquid Metal Creps like a magpie.

Finally, Scott Wilson Eternity Hoop Earrings for AQ/AQ, you can never have too many hoops.

Alternatively, everything and almost anything that sparkles please...

Sass please

Now not only am I already well and truly bubbling over with Christmas cheer and expecting a very sassy season of festivities, the Duffin Clan are expecting a new addition to the fam for the celebrations. A PUPPY! Sassy the puppy. The name is yet to be confirmed, but it's three against one and I have a sneaky suspiction this Setter is going to be the most lovable tart around. Now it would be impossible to describe the size of my grin after receiving this news, so here are a few snaps of my first Christmas wish come true. If this doesn't make you scrooges out there smile God only knows what will. Lets just hope all of my dreams come true and my active readers want to fill my stocking with the list of goodies I will be posting shortly. Watch this space.

Small town, pretty girls and big ideas

Banbury, the grim little town whose residents hope the OX postcode can deviously fool any outsider into thinking that we have similar status to that of the trendy cobbled streets of Oxford. When in fact, we have one club renowned for its sticky floors and a nursery rhyme I naively believed to be famous, despite only being known to my fellow townies. Alas! I am a lover, not a hater of this place I call home. Although I cannot lie about actively job/house hunting for a crib in the big city, I am proud to say I am a Banbury girl at heart, and Banbury holds a few gems.

What I hear you cry?! Well for starters, that nursery rhyme! "Ride a cock horse to Banbury cross...", where the fine lady on her white horse is covered in rings. As a ring hoarder myself I am clearly a product of my surroundings, and my surroundings are surprisingly artistic. After attending a visual arts sixth form and art college I was lucky enough to meet many clever clowns who not only see the world in pretty pictures like myself, but can draw a bloody good picture too. Now since it would be wrong to include myself in the category of 'Banbury's Finest' and I am still waiting to be discovered, here is a snap of one my fellow fashionistas from Banbury and a dab hand with a biro.

Anais in denim with her hand drawn Alice in Wonderland customisation (2013) by Amy Duffin 

"I'm craving reality"

"I'm craving reality". This was said by one of the Big Brother house mates last week. It was then said again by me today...

Today I also spent the longest stint of my life so far in the gym. Ok ok, so maybe there was a summer, say when I was seventeen, and had finally been let in on the knowledge that the gym played second home to some of my tiny towns hottest men. Again, total lie! In hindsight they were actually rather chunky and not muscley at all, but I am in no position to judge since I was not there to tone...

I happened to really enjoy my three hours (yes, THREE!) playing on the cross trainer, treadmill and even the bike with the hideously uncomfortable seat, but I would be lying if I claimed this was down to exercise and not arguably one of the most well known reality TV shows to date. Now let me reassure you that despite being an active lover of the trashy television genre, my feelings don't usually extend to Big Brother. I wouldn't dare sit at home for three hours watching BB in the middle of the day. Don't get me wrong, I see no shame in watching it at 10pm, after the run of hilariously dramatic soaps, but to me, during the light of day when you should be working, watching three hours straight of Big Brother is so very nearly as bad as laying on the sofa dazed by Jezza. Just sayin'

But I bloody loved it! I am usually more of a sucker for structured reality, but this series has had me hooked. Why? WHY? Why Amy? Because it actually shows us some REAL human emotion. That's why.

These poor buggers cooped up in that house don't always have the sweet deal their (maybe slightly naive) brains lead them to think they will get. A few things have come to my attention. What if the production company choose to vicitmise a housemate? Big Brother has control of what the housemates do, and what we as the viewers see. They have the ability to control their actions to cause friction and arguments, which although makes for fantastic watching, raises some serious questions on human rights and discrimination. We are then only able to see what they want us to see, exaggerating certain personality traits and provoking strong reactions of love or hate. Then there is all this bitching! The words two-faced gets tossed about more than some of them change their clothes, okay not the best example, but when you think about it, who else do they have to talk to? In a concentrated group of people you only have each other to talk to, or you vent to Big Brother. This is then built up with music and a clever commentary and voila! Shouting, screaming, laughing, crying and a few hours later... Gossip galore! Ayayayaaaa.

It really is, or in my opinion, just might be the most real reality TV out there right now. And tonight is THE night, the finale. There is exactly forty two minutes until we find out whether Sam, the peoples favourite or Dexter, this season's biggest game player wins the dollar and life long glory that rolls on with it. I am also leaving for holiday with the fam in three and a half hours. So I do apologise if this little ramble of thoughts hasn't tickled your taste buds for a bit of the BB hype, but I really must go and finish squeezing my too many shoes into my impractically small suitcase, and be off to get my tan on.

Adois Amigos!

P.S. If you are even remotely disappointed that you read this too late to catch the final, do not fear! Celebrity Big Brother starts this week again too!

P.P.S. Big Brother you probably now owe me money for promoting you to every dick and harry I come across and yes I know I sound like I watch too much TV. Whoooooops!

The work behind the illustrations.

You may remember (and if you don't gogogo and scroll down the page), a few months back I posted you a little teaser of my Chloe competition illustrations. I cannot lie, third year definitely made being a new-be blogger a little tricky for Miss Perfectionist over here, and at crunch time I may have chosen a couple of hours sleep over updating you with my work, doodles or random ramblings. But, finally! Here it is in full, my first of three portfolio competitions for my final year work. A complete contrast to my second competition work shown below, with a clean, simple and feminine style from start to finish.